Coming Out...

So... almost all us gay’s have a coming out story. I wonder what it’s like for all the straights... I mean you never had to come out and no one ever asks you “how’d you know you liked the opposite sex?!” I honestly would love to hear a story about how they first fell in love... in which case it’s just another story about falling in love and knowing you liked who you liked or loved who you loved...



As said in a previous post, I’ve known I’ve liked girls since the ripe age of 4... it was a lifeguard... I didn’t know what sex was but I knew I wanted to hold her hand! Since that day I’ve idolized Squints Palledorous (Sandlot) after drowning in a pool just so Wendy Peffercorn could resuscitate him! I guess you could say all that oiling and lotioning got to me...!

Growing up, I loved taking care of little girls and staring endlessly at the older ones. I was the one to give the piggyback rides, the one who wanted to play house just so I could hold their hand or give them hugs, I loved looking at how pretty they were and helping them to their feet. But I was also so scared to let anyone know... (looking back it was so obvious) heck I was to scared to kiss a girl... that is except for one who will be kept a secret because when she found out I was gay... well let’s just say she wouldn’t even friend me on fb! haha!

Anyway, it wasn’t till 7th grade when I came out... I thought gay was a disease from the way people acted about it but I wanted to let it out because I just couldn’t keep it in any longer. I wanted to talk about girls like all the other guys. So, I sat my mom down while my dad was away on a business trip and told her I liked girls. She said “I like girls to...” and I said “no... I really like girls... like I want to take them on dates and treat them like princesses... I feel like I was born in the wrong body, that I should be like my brother and I got the short end of the stick.” (Or should I say No Stick) She looked at me and said “oh... is that why people make fun of you... did you hit on them?... I figured since you were yay high... I just want you to be happy... let’s keep this a secret.” She of course told my father when he returned to town. I was so scared of making him disappointed, I wanted to like who I liked, love who I loved and not be looked down upon. So, I turned the other way. He thought it was a phase and after trying to like boys in high school and having a fear of only having butch girls like me, for I had never seen a girl like me with a girl like Gisele. But after a crazy whirlwind of an experience happened when I was 18, I threw my hands up and became open and proud when I stepped out of the car and into college. Let’s get one thing “straight” though, I hate rainbows and rainbow wear. I only will wear it if it was Pride or if it's was tye dye and I'm hangin out at a music festival!

Someone once asked me, "Loren, will you ever be straight?!"
I looked at them and said "Yeah, when I become a guy."

Today my parents are ok with me being gay but as far as being trans... That’s a whole other story. I went to trans therapy for a brief moment in college but after an extreme incident, I found it easier to be non-gender based. And it would have been a whole lot easier if Facebook would have let me kept my gender under wraps but with the new timeline came the mandatory selection... I say don’t think of me as a girl, don’t think of me as a guy... just look at me as Loren and I promise to melt your hearts while making you laugh!