Say, YES.

While our lives sometimes move at the speed of light, where getting things done and moving onto the next venture is in our mind, we unfortunately forget about the beauty of random. I know I’m always on the go, have things planned out and things that could be if the first things fall through, all while I having a stack of projects and work waiting for me. It is sometimes overwhelming to say the least.

Last Monday (MLK day) I had off from work, it was the only day game of the season for the Hawks and I really wanted to go... I knew I had a bunch of work to do and didn’t have anyone to go with but something reminded me of the movie Yes Man. There is a line in the movie that says “You say No, saying no to life and therefore you are not living, every time an opportunity presents itself you will say, yes.” Now, I know that you can over say yes but if it’s just for the randomness and not to overwhelm yourself with taking on other person/s projects, then yes can make us live in the moment. And that’s exactly what I did!

I playing over and over in my head that I shouldn’t go to the game, work even called seeing if I could take a shift in case someone was sick but they ended up being ok so after posting on fb to see if anyone wanted to go to the game, I called Carmellow. She was already going to the game and had plans to meet up w/ her friends from work and invited me to meet up with them for they had an extra ticket! I jumped in the car but with the MLK parade going on I couldn’t cross over Peachtree and was getting aggravated with the parking situation, so I just pulled over and walked. I got ahold of Carmellow who directed me to their location. I was sent through a claustro-fuck and almost had a mini panic attack but made it to the bar where I met 3 new people and downed a shot of Jager before walking over to Philips Arena. Once at the game my nerves calmed and I started to enjoy myself running into a few familiar faces, taking it as a sign that I was on the right track for the day. The game started out like butterfingers but as it went on the hawks went neck and neck beating out the T-Wolves.

(Photo Thanks: Dyana Bagby and GA Voice)


When the game ended I had every intention of going home to work on a few projects but walking out of the arena my new found friends were all going to continue their festivities and I thought back to the movie... I said to myself “Loren, today is the day you go with the flow and if something presents itself, go for it.” So I walked along having a few interesting conversations and laughs as Carmellow and I were called very attractive Lesbians by a very strait man as we sipped on a Moscow Mule and listened to Disney’s Snow White Heigh Ho, before being dropped off at another bar where we met for dinner and another new friend. As the girls took a smoke break, I got a text from my good ole roommate who I hadn’t seen in over a year saying she had an extra ticket to the Big Freedia concert and would love to catch up and being that “yes” was my word for the day, I dropped everyone off in midtown and made my way over to EAV where I met 2 handfuls of people who were full of life and good energy, making me smile from ear to ear! I was getting pretty tired when Big Freedia walked out and instructed us to work it out and get loose with him before he went on and lets just say it was a nonstop booty shake extravaganza. I met this super cute gay, Michael (pictured next to Big Freedia) and we ended up pairing up and being booty shaking dance partners. Once Big Freedia finally came out to perform he had all his little dancers (us) come up on stage and show the audience what we had learned, sweating, laughing, howling, booty shaking that moment was intoxicating and I didn’t think it could get any better then his last song came on. He looked me in the eyes and pointed to me, I gave him the thumbs up and he shook his head and pulled me on stage (solo) to shake it out with him. As I got on stage the crowd was wild and I thought it’s now or never, I ran across stage stop, dropped and rolled up onto my shoulders kicking my feet into the air and shaking my tush upside down and all I heard was the crowd scream in excitment... looking back and reflecting, it was in that moment and the moment of the whole day, meeting new people and enjoying myself with nothing holding me back that I can honestly say I felt infinite.

So, in the ever fast of our lives, live it, love it, be random and enjoy the unknown... get what you need to get done and then let go and find the beauty of a moment unplanned. Say, YES and see what happens!

What happens when you fall in love with a writer?

Better yet what happens if a writer/artist falls in love with you?!

As a kid most of us grow up watching Disney along with other movies/tv shows and read stories of true love, Princes and Princesses, the dork and the pretty one. I know, I for one have dreamt about finding my fairytale, hell, I have lived fairytales... only they didn’t end happily ever after... but I did get glimpses.

Yesterday as I was scrolling through my fb feed, I ran into a post that read: What happens when you fall in love with a writer. I read it and my wheels started turning for half the things talked about, I in fact do towards the lovely ladies that I have fallen for. I love making breakfast in bed wether it’s 8am, 7pm or 3am if you and I are hungry, I will cook. I like sex at anytime of the day and getting lost in their eyes, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I like sharing, I like adventures, I like exciting the one I am sharing my time and life with.

The truth is I have fallen in love a number of times (as well as have been hurt) the way it makes you feel is worth the good and the bad, it’s unlike anything other, your heart races, blood rushes through your body making your face turn red and your ears feel like they want to burn off, how it suddenly becomes hard to breath when you see them, how you get tingly and how when you make eye contact you turn away even though you could secretly stare at them till you fell asleep. Each time you fall in love it’s a different set of feelings, for you cannot love someone the same. Each person is a new start and together you can do and create anything. As a writer and artist I want to create a world that someone might have thought of but never thought existed.

I grew up in a house where my mother was treated like she was the only thing in the world that mattered. That not only my brother and I needed to respect but that my father would do anything and everything to make her happy, never raising a hand and always backing down when knowing she wasn’t. My dad said you treat the one you want to be with the best that you can, stand up when you need to but always show love even if you’re angry or hurt. And that’s what I want. I want to find and fall in love with my best friend. I want to sit for hours laughing, talking, not talking but enjoying each other... I want to get lost, get lost from time, lost from the world and find a world in them.

I’m an artist, I’m a writer, I am a creative soul. I have bursts of greatness in which I try and take your romantic dreams as well as mine and make realities. Where we set off balloons into the sky, light fireworks in a field, build forts and make hats, talk in funny little accents and dance down grocery store aisles, find a random fair and ride the best ride, eat amazing food over candles and make up stories that haven’t been told before. I like to sweep pretty girls off their feet and make them feel like they are the only one in my world. I like to have the rush of them making that moment the only moment one worth living right then.

I am in search for my love story and honestly, I know I cant plan it all out for what I want and what I don’t know exists, is a big factor. Plus having expectations can ruin the spark of a random love affair. And getting to know the real person behind the made up vision in your mind. So here’s to life, love and finding... May each of us continue forward and find what makes us happy and hopefully it will take you on your own fairytale even if it's only momentary.

"If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die."

Uncertain Darkness

Why is it that anytime I feel like there is nothing in my world or the feeling of being overwhelmed I find myself running away and doing disappearing acts to unfamiliar places finding my cold dark equal.

Yes, I have people who love me, I have great opportunities, dreams and goals but I also have a darkness inside that can't be explained. I have gotten help a number of times, have taken steps to turn my life around and move into a different direction but when the winds change, my sails don't always know how to redirect in the right way and letting go seems as though I would free fall into the infinite abyss...

Everyone has hard times... Everyone has their own darkness and everyone deals with their situations differently.

I have never done hardcore drugs but I sometimes love the feeling of nothing, I love not thinking and being in my head. And quite honestly, in some strange way I sometimes like the darkness where I hide...

Sometimes we must get lost in the darkness to find our light and know its worth.