I will love you till the end of time:

It’s been forever since I’ve sat down and blogged. I have a crazy non-stop lifestyle yet with my mind wandering to the souls that graze my mind and Lana Del Rey’s - Blue Jeans song playing over my new found love of Spotify. I had to stop and sit down because in some way I lost touch or got disconnected because I am doing to much and not making cameras jealous because of my focus... Anyway... here’s what’s in my head while this song graced itself across my living room.



It’s funny how people will randomly show up in your life and as fast as they come in it’s just as fast leaving. Over the years I have met a few diamonds in the rough, you know the people you make eye contact with and forever stay in your head with the questions of what if in the background. What if you said hi, what if you gotten their number, what if you would have called them, what if you weren’t just friends, what if you acted on your desires, what if you would have, what if, what if, what if...

From blue jeans to mini skirts, high heels and dresses there have been all kinds of beautiful women that the second I looked up and made eye contact it felt as if electricity went rolling through my body... From females that I have only glanced at to knowing them for what seems like a decade, my heart raises, blood rushes and my breath shortens... not that this made me fall head over heels in love but it sure made me lust in more ways then one, which makes my heart think “I will love you (them) till the end of time.” The excitement of the unknown, the urn to understand the mystery of a second in time which seemed to stop all time. From the fact of knowing and not knowing the person across from you that you secretly infused into the back of your mind... which “made my eyes burn.”

Who know’s if this even makes since but to a hopeless romantic like myself, you have to believe in something.

I am a Diamond...

One day I will be the diamond someone is looking for...
but for now I'm shining on my own!

Finding Greatness

People of every character will walk into our lives... It is up to us on what we share and how we present ourselves... be extraordinary every chance you get, you never know who's watching and admiring.

Postcard

Over many miles, across the sea, I have sent to thee...
I hope you receive it and it doesn't get returned to me...

Emergency Hit and Crash...

This is what I'm looking at through my window, right now... 9 police vehicles, 2 ambulances, and a firetruck... A Bentley hit a pedestrian and knocked into a telephone pole crusing into the marta bus stop... seriously I just stared at a lifeless body in the road... creepy.

Reflecting & onto 24

Growing up my parents told me I could be anything I wanted to be...
I chose to be me.

Another year, another moment to reflect. Twenty-four years of roaming, learning, loving, dreaming, experiencing and creating, among many other things. With epic wonders and manic lows life has treated me in ways only one could fathom. I must say though, I am well on my way to living my dream, if I’m not already.

As a kid, I of course wanted to be a Doctor, a Firefighter, a Chef, a Deep Sea Diver, and a powerhead in the game of life... but most of all I wanted the simpleness of being “cool”. I wanted people to look up to me, to make people happy, to put a smile on their face, a laugh that shakes their soul. To make them feel wanted and needed, to inspire and make them go forward in what makes them tic. I guess this is why I not only enjoy people but creating things that make you look beyond the picture, beyond the canvas, beyond the materialistic. I find the moments and things in life that make us do this... well, fascinating. I want to make a note of it, to capture it and to hold on, probably why I enjoy photos so much. Taking a photo and being able to look back and reflect just as I am about this year and all the other ones that fell before it. So to anyone I’ve ever talked to, had dinner with, anyone I’ve ever met, anyone that has ever touched me, inspired me, bumped into, yelled at, anyone I’ve lost, been hurt by and loved by thank you...

Thank you for molding me into the person I am. I look forward to the rest of my many adventures life has before me.

Day of the Dead

With the pain of my sciatic subdued photo shoots have been going at a non-stop rate. Inspiration is pouring out of my veins as my b-day approaches. I've been working with painter friend Jarrett Becke and together we have been raising eyebrows to the point of getting photos banded from facebook to comments a mile long. I'm super ecstatic as I watch my work progress... I sat back after Tues shoot and said... yes I actually took these! The photos are nothing less than beautiful, interesting and leaving you wanting more!

Mixed Tapes

“Having a cassette in hand is a romantic thing,”
“It’s a creative way to get attention.”

I love tapes, and the simple fact that they can put a smile on your face and a mystery in your ear!

To the ER...

Sometimes in life it is necessary to ask for help... I on the other hand like to over do it.

Moving from Morning Side over to Buckhead I thought it was a grand idea to move by myself over a week in a half span. With my back hurting I decided to take a break and meet my friends out for a few drinks. As we played a few games of drunk Jenga I should have gone home but instead I thought... hey let's go dancing... this is where I went wrong. Feeling loose I busted out and started to break dance to Lady Gaga... needless to say she got me with her poker face.

That night I went to the bathroom and had to crawl on my hands and knees back to my bed I was in so much pain. When the morning came my lovely James came over and went to cvs for me to get me the essentials of being wrapped up in bed. I was in pain but nothing grinding my teeth couldn't handle. Later that evening my Jenni Penni came over bringing me healthy snacks and an ice pack but within an hour of her leaving I went from pain to I can't move, I wanna die. I made my way to the bathroom in which I broke out in a cold sweat from the unbearable pain, I felt myself go white as I pulled my arms to my face as I collapsed onto the floor. I was kicking in pain for I awoke with a charley horse calling out for my roommate w/ no answer. I laid on the floor for 40 some mins before cammando crawling to my phone and calling T down at work, telling her I needed to go to the hospital.

As I laid there waiting for her to get there Nessa came in finding me on the floor... I was crying in pain because the charley horse still hadn't stopped... through the tears I told her T was on her way up and to help me put clothes on because I was not going to the hospital or wanted anyone to see my half naked self. As Nessa was putting pants on T and my boss Jeff came in and helped me make the decision of them taking me or the ambulance. Once at the hospital I was surprised that when in the amount of pain I was in I got my own room within 15 mins of arrival! I remember being asked a handful of questions and handing over my insurance card as the iv that was placed in my arm began to make me feel really good! I don't remember to much after that but I will say having to go to the hospital there is no one I'd rather go with then the crew that took me! Thanks Nessa, T, and Jeff!

The real reason for being in the hospital... Thanks Doctor T.
Watch this for a comical reason on why I love these guys for making a scary experience a refreshing one.

Another New Start

And it's that time again... you know the time to pack up all your stuff and move to another grand place! Another adventure of living all over the city. I can now walk to work and see the skyline, you could say I'm one happy camper... if only my muscles didn't feel like Jello and my bones didn't wanna lock on me, today would be so much easier... yet the moving must go on and so must my 5 to 8 loads of laundry!

Toys-R-Us Kid

With weather like this who wants to do anything else but sit in the park and blow bubbles to pass the time?!?!

"I don't want to grow up I'm a Toys-R-Us Kid."

Be Free

To feel like this, to let go and let the adventure of life take you over, is a rush...
I constantly find myself looking for that rush, that adrenaline force to the brain, that feeling you get that starts in your chest and sweeps up through your arms and shoots out your legs. That rush that says, Yes I am Alive. If it wasn't for my small adventures, random acts or my times of screaming at the top of my lungs. Idk how life would be rolling... but I'm guessing a lot less thrilling and really, who wants a mundane life.

Im doing this because I know I deserve something better

Where oh where to start... in existence you are given life and in life you are given obstacles and choices... sometimes easy and sometimes hard. They come at you with a blink of an eye, a beat of the heart and when faced with them we can take a split of a second to go forward or an eternity. Things are not always set in stone and there isn’t really a fat lady who sings to finalize situations... unless you have strangely hired her. Things will continue to go, nothing ever stops not unless it dies but even then the memory or the history is still there and hopefully we learned from it, whether it was good or bad or both.

For me life has taken me places with people, and with them obstacles and choices have come in Mt. Everest sizes. I’ve had the pleasure and sorrow, the happiness and the frustration, the giddiness of new and the epic pain of loss.

You came into my life like a train on its track... you hit me and swept me off my feet... you made my heart skip, you put a spell on me, you flew me to the clouds but then the crackle came the clouds got dark... it started to rain... I let you go... I got lost... I started comparing... making my choices unfair to the people and the beauty around me... but I didn’t see it because I was still trying to find my way. I was in the clouds, not on them and couldn’t see, even though I desperately wanted to... but with time I have found my way back to solid ground... I am seeing clearly... the haze of the darkness has gone... I have let the idea of you go and am open to the new and unknown in hopes that when I fall I will land into the arms of grace and beauty that will treat me the way I found them. I’m ready to laugh whole heartedly, to be swept again, to take it as it comes, to live in the moment and to let it happen, to trust, and to trust I will find or be found.

With the help of people and friendship, I have realized you don’t have to move Mountains to make a difference you just have to take small chances to make a change for the best... and then who knows... Maybe Everest isn’t that big after all.

Lovely LA

Dear LA,
You put a smile on my face and I liked it...
I wish for many more.

Realizing...

People get crushed like biscuit crumbs...

Black Swan - Thom Yorke

Spread the Love!

hahaha!!! My comrade Michele just started up a blog on Tumblr and dedicated a photo of a hipster cat (above) as me cat-wise! "Dedicated to LoHo!!! this is soo the Hoffmeister!"

I fell in love!

I also fell in love with the flash based photo of the single women... "When i see ugly people in a relationship, and i’m just sitting here being single." Well Michele, We be single like a Dollar!!! And we can wave it back and forth!!!

Best wishes and inspiration!

Check her out! mesheelove.tumblr.com

Pandora... Almost Lovers

As snow fell down upon Atlanta, I was curled up in my bed listening to my muse (pandora), when “Almost Lovers” by A Fine Frenzy filled my bedroom. Nostalgia hit me like a drug hits the blood stream. By the time the song was half way through I had clicked over to youtube and started watching the video. As I continued to repeatedly watch and listen to this song thoughts of many people came to mind. People that have been almost lovers... people and friends who’ve touched me and then a rolling fog came along, clouding our relationship, whatever kind it may have been. A haze, a distance, an awkwardness, tension, or just forces of nature... movement.

Walking into my life, creating images and memories. You all were and are beautiful in your own way which made/makes me attracted to you. For the ones that have walked out, some of you do “haunt me” in which, I think of you and wonder if I ever cross your mind... Some of you have hurt me, broke me down and had me questioning anything and everything, yet, I am okay. I’m also sure that I to, created some sort of question for you. But in some cases things are left unsaid... things are left unsolved... things are just left...

Over the last year I have been through a lot as far as relationships go. I’ve had gain and loss, I’ve met many new faces, new friends and people. I been distant from people, have lost friends, the tug of rope or should I say the tug of life. I’ve gone through a neurotic slaughter house breakup to, trying to find something, anything to, fairytale settings with sparks of bliss and games of hide-n-seek. I’m not going to lie, I’ve had real regret and episodes of hate but how can I regret something let alone hate something that once made me smile, that once had my heart pounding over excitement not over petty loose ends and hearsay. The fact is, I started all things with good intentions with the want of learning, growing, and full heartedness and I want to move on that way as well.

So, although none of the people I’ve had relations with have ever sang me Spanish lullabies I have seen “sweet sadness” in their eyes... everyone has it... whether it’s over a luckless romance, broken heart or clever tricks everyone is human and even though I am not with them and they aren’t with me I do wish them happiness because at some point they gave me happiness, showed it to me, made me feel it and that’s the beauty of life, that’s what keeps me going. The hope and the feeling of happiness that awaits.

So for the almost/could have been lover and for the almost/could be lover, here’s to simply moving and feeling. Thank you.


ps. If and when you find your perfection, go after it, get it and enjoy every minute because then at least you can say you had it. Because unlike this song nothing is a hopeless dream.



Random Beauty - best explained to me by Jenni Penny