Wanting Everything & More…

Over the last few days I’ve felt like I’ve been in a fog… not necessarily a bad thing but the days have been blended together and the want and feeling of life has gotten me day dreaming to the point of being in my head 85% of the day. I feel like I’m sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to jump up and go… I guess I feel this way because I feel like I have no real place… I mean, I have responsibilities and things that potentially tie me down to where I am and I love the people who are in it but in other aspects I could seriously get up and go…

 

Another thing that is making me feel the need to go and do life better, is my brother… I envy him… I find myself to be a free spirit the type of person who loves adventures and the spontaneity of life but in his case I find him to be a wandering majestic soul. He goes here and there, he picks up and does things, he’s driven across the country twice, crashes on couches, takes chances and does random adventures along with heading to china for 3 months in Sept. I want that. I want to go, I want to see the world and different cultures, I want, want, want. I know that we are two totally different individuals and I have the power to do any and all these things but the fact is, he’s younger and I look up to him. I love his chill attitude, how he picks up a skateboard and just goes, I love that when I thought I knew what type of person he was he tells you something or you find out something about him that changes everything. He’s always been that cool kid where all the guys want to be his friend and the ladies want to be with and he does it all without trying, which makes him the epitome of cool.

And as I find myself trying to figure out my excellent adventure, I’ve been talking with a few of my friends but Renaldo in particular. After voicing my want to do something whether it be making a difference or just seeing the world, I found myself at her house brainstorming all the crazy ideas we / I could do and the wanting to do them and not just talk. We must have lounged on her bed listening to endless amounts of mind blowing music and searching the web for who knows how long as we let our mind’s wander and our creative flow shoot out the roof. I figure I have a lease until next March and so if I plan things right I might be able to go with an organization or join some sort of group or find a ship to work on and take the time to go do it, just live it. 

Renaldo brought up a good point as we were in our own little world… She said something along the lines of: we as a society are pretty much in a box, where we are told to go to school, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have 2.5 kids, wish divorce if we don’t actually get one, and hope we don’t have bad health till we die. And in some cases I feel like this is true… The people who take the unclaimed path are the one’s who are some what looked down upon but the one’s that we envy and look up to the most.

 

I heard someone say: 

“In life we try and stay away from making mistakes and in death we wish we could have made more.”

 

I guess what I want is to look back and not wish I would have.

Let the journey continue! 

Sometimes awful things have their own beauty.

Over the last few days I have been thinking about Scars and how’ve they oddly kept coming up in conversations, movies and music. I went OTP to see one of my close friends to catch up and discuss life’s BS. We were outside shooting the shit when we came upon the subject. I’m not quite sure how but I think we were talking about tattoos and how people get to choose what they want inked into their body. That people have an idea of what they’re looking for and with the touch of a needle they get what they want whether it’s something significant or not. 

 

We both have been through a lot; in fact I’m pretty sure everyone has been through something in which they have received a scar. A scar is something that is usually not wished upon, is something that you don’t estimate on having it just happens whether it’s from your cat scratching you, from a cigarette burn or your little brother stabbing you in the back because he didn’t understand his math homework. The truth is, they happen and they all have a story behind them. Sometimes the stories are short and simple but there’s a story.

 

My friend said to me “a scar is life’s tattoo.”

 

I guess, she’s right. It’s life’s way of saying “hey this is real and yes you lived through this… here’s your mark, now go tell your story or keep it to yourself… either way, you’ve been branded. 

The photograph above of Andy Warhol taken by Avedon was taken after he had be shot several times in his NYC studio. Even though it’s hard to look at and take in… it’s something beautiful and I personally find nothing more attractive and meaningful then when faced with life’s truths.

Gallivanting in Macon

Gallivanting: To go from one place to another in the pursuit of pleasure or entertainment. 

 

Running a mile a min, I was asked by my 2 bff photographers (Colbert & Roselita) if I wanted to join in on a shoot in Macon with a few stops along the way. While I was torn whether to take 17-hour break to enjoy the simple pleasures that would surprisingly be popping up or continue to put my nose to the grind, I sent out some last min emails and grabbed my backpack and pillow.

 

On the road we found traffic to be more than congested, making the cramped car (aka Joan Jett, The Cube/Toaster) a little less then thrilling to ride in but with the help of stopping at QT for some snacks we made it to Macon 2 hours later.

 

Colbert: Did you get Fritos?!

Me: Yeah, why?!

Colbert: Cuz, your burp reeked of them! 

 

Once in Macon we pulled into the graveyard where Roselita was taking her photos and stepped out of the car, where we were struck with extreme heat. Before Rosie could even set up the 4x5 we were dipping in sweat making it almost unbearable to help assist or to have her take the photos… Needless to say it was an interesting and quick shoot.

 

Hot, sticky and needing AC we tried to pull off at the Super Goodwill… but new store hours made us 17 mins late so what better to do then to go eat! We hit up a little Mexican restaurant that both of my photo companions loved. As we sat there re-hydrating ourselves off Diet Coke and chowing down on chicken chimichangas, a very handsome mariachi band came over and serenaded us with Pink Floyd’s No Education.

 

Now, the photo session wasn’t the only reason for this particular road trip… Rosie was also going to meet up with a guy (who we will call Mac) who happened to be living in Macon where we happened to be shooting! But, being all gross like we were, we needed a place to freshen up and recharge ourselves for the night ahead of us. So, we went out to Colbert’s cousin’s house.

 

Around 11:30pm we ended up leaving A’s house (Colbert’s cousin) and headed down to Cherry St were we would be spending a portion of our night and meet up with Mac. I could totally see why Rosie liked this music man… he had long straight yet wavy hair that hit just below his shoulders with matching beard, his laid back personality and how he walked with the bottom of his pants tucked under his feet with his flip flops popping back and forth carrying a cigarette in hand. You could tell that he was a little bit hippie and a little bit rock and roll making him a perfect candidate for my fine friend. 

 

He ended up taking us to a bar in town called Humming Bird, with $1 wells and 80’s themed night we sure got to getting crunk! With my camera in hand I started snapping away while dancing like no one was watching, getting the local crowd to take notice. It wasn’t to long before they started coming over and getting us to dance with them. It was energizing, the girls were cute and seemed to like me as we jumped up and down to “Yo, VIP…” and a sick mix of 99 red balloons and 99 problems! They thought I was 1 a boy and 2 some one named Trey Mosley… I googled the guy… and I couldn’t seem to figure out who he was! Haha!

 

As last call was screamed over the bar we got our things together and started to walk back to Mac’s house. Rosie and him were pretty tired so they ended up calling it a night as Colbert, A, and I wanted more adventure. So we hopping in an un-gassed car and made our way to a Waffle House. We ended up ordering all kinds of random mixtures of food as we talked about everything from A to Z till we decided we wanted to go to the strip club. But being it was 3:30 in the morning we were outta luck as all the lights were cut off to the club when we pulled in. So, we went back and watched old episodes of Law and Order till we fell asleep… knowing we had to get up at 10am for the ride back!

 

Gallivanting, something this trip was full of, along with good friends and new ones.

 

When you have the chance to do something that you might get to talk about one day… take it and see where it takes you… Be the Yes man because so much that is worthwhile can happen.

I'm not sorry I met you, I'm not sorry it's over.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been obsessed with the Stars: Your Ex-Lover Is Dead, Not only is the video more than amazing, the way they are laying on ice playing instruments kind of makes me melt. The song itself is a grand piece and meshed together I can’t stop watching/listening.

 

I guess I’m addicted because over the last 7 to 8 months I’ve had a lot of people walk in and out of my bizarre story like life. I’ve met the most amazing people, the kind of people who would give their shirt off their back for you or offer you their couch when the night has gone till 6-8am and then cook you breakfast. I never thought that meeting random strangers would turn into such good friendships. Some came quick, showed me new things, excited me, frustrated me, and made me think and then walked out just as soon as they walked in, in some cases I didn’t want them go… but seasons are meant to come and go (which is why, I’m not sorry I met you). Others feel like that piece of popcorn stuck between your teeth after a 3 hour movie, no matter what you do it’s there pestering you to the point you have to find something to remove it. Honestly, I can’t talk about them because in their mind it was me, I was the frustration, I was the kernel stuck in their teeth and vise versa… The drama and the aggravation of these individuals makes me want to run, run as fast as I can as far as I can while screaming at the top of my lungs or hold a glass in my hand and squeeze it till the pressure builds up making it break in my hand (which is why, I’m not sorry it’s over).

 

I dare you to watch their video, apply it someway to you and make it your own. People are meant to stir emotion are made to make you feel… and what kind is all different but let people and strangers take you over for a moment and see what this crazy life has to offer.

 

Getting Started!

Long over due... but better late then never! 

I plan on putting everything on here. From the things I do to the things I think. From the things I see to the things I hear. And if there's anything else that comes along then I'm sure you will be reading and see that to. I'm glad I'm getting this out there so one I can look back and remember and two so I can keep you guy updated... if there is anyone who would be interested! 

So for now, tomorrow and always Best Wishes and enjoy the ride that is at your feet!